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question:
hi stumpy. my pet dolphin, Judy, has seemed sad lately. she's really moving quite a bit slower and she's been very quiet. my nephew is a marine biologist. he said that I should probably stop feeding her kipper snacks and she will cheer up. is it a bad idea to feed Judy kipper snacks? are they making her sad? they're pretty much her favorite food, but she's just not as fun as she used to be and I think the kipper snacks might be to blame. I've included a cute photo of Judy for you to show your readers. thanks.

Jim Tom
Oregon

stumpy:
well, Jim Tom, I don't know anything about your nephew. except that he's an idiot. I also suspect he's jerking you around about the 'marine biology'. Judy isn't sad because you feed her kipper snacks, Judy is sad because you don't feed her enough kipper snacks. obviously. quit being so stingy, Jim Tom, or your pet dolphin is going to slap you on the head like you're a stingy hammerhead shark. aside: hammerhead sharks and dolphins are not overly fond of each other. also, Jim Tom did indeed include a nice photograph of Judy that you can find here.

yours,
stumpy



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