it's ask a stump
with stumpy the stump

question:
hi, mister stumpy. why do you smell like poop?

Cutie Bumper,
Daycare

stumpy:
thanks for writing, cutie bumper. aren't you the charming scamp. how do I answer your question delicately? let's just say that the neighbor's dog has developed a certain fondness for TAKING A SHIT RIGHT NEXT TO ME. when I was younger, and a tree, I would have dropped a dead branch on that four-legged turd factory before he could so much as relax his sphincter. but times change, and I no longer have that defense at my disposal.

also, Cutie Bumper, have some tact you little asshole.

keep the questions coming.

yours,
stumpy

something bothering you? need advice? have a question for stumpy?
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send your question to:
stumpy the stump
care of: ask a stump
post office box 436
woodland, washington
98674
usa